first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
