actually, I'm a sock model
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
