I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
