I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
