He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
