Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
