zippers are such a cool invention
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i now understand why vodka
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
