Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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