hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
