If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
