I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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