oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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