i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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