She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
