Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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