How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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