We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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