my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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