HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
