I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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