naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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