whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
