she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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