There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
