never play flip cup with pint glasses
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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