I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
