Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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