new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
