my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
