she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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