You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
