no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
