There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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