Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
