I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
