The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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