that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
