She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
