Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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