Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he puts the penis in happiness.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
