WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
