I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
