Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
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I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
