And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
