i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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