office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
