there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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