I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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