question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just found a bag of teeth...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
