his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
