Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
nutella sex= disaster
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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