Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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