Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize