There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
