He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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