i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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