Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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