At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
